Prick, prick, prick, you prick.

Have a look in here,
In there, everywhere.
Radioactive machines from the outside,
Tubes on the inside, no rock left unturned,
No hole un-prodded, no dignity left.
Here, I present me;
Cut me up,

Remove some things,
Insert some things,
Steel tools of terror,

And it never, ever, ends.

Stretch, pull, push, poke, prod,
Aversion therapy, look away merrily,
Take your mind to another place.
Blood in, blood out, blood in, blood out,
Poison in, red piss, bullshit.

There are not enough drugs in the world,
Definitely not enough in my house;
Valium, Tramadol, Susie Q’s,
Delicious, delicious opiates.

I cannot breathe,
My breaths are limited,
And I’m just so fucking livid.
All this flesh, tissue, bone,
All these organs squiggling around inside of me,
A beautiful and terrifying form to take;
This human body, this ticking-time-bomb,
This organic machine that our consciousness is channeled in to,
Born out of…

How can I preserve my consciousness without my human form,
In my original form, on my original planet, Earth,
With all the other humans?
Will I learn to be something other than human?
Become something different?
Or will I just cease to be?
All of what I am - gone?
Can I hold on tight enough with sheer will?
Pure positivity of spirit?
Will that save me from this potentially incurable disease?

I want something to save me,
Cause I ain’t done yet,
Not by a long shot.
I have much more to be
And much more to become.
So many things I want to experience,
Such a rich long life I so desire to have.
Please won’t you let me have it…

I’m angry and I’m restless and I will not go gently into that good night,
I will rage and I will rage against the dying of the light.